"She said 'you'll figure it out, you always do' and changed the subject. And I just… let it go."

"You'll figure it out, you always do" sounds supportive but actually says I don't need to worry about you.

You tried to put something real on the table, and it got met with a compliment that closed the door.

"I don't think I realized how much of my staying is about not disrupting all of that."

That's a real thing to see. The job isn't just yours — it's become a load-bearing wall in other people's picture of how life works.

Walking away from it isn't just a career move, it's pulling something out from underneath all of that.

"Is that a common thing? The bright-side reflex?"

Very common. The tricky part is that the people who do it most tend to be the ones who actually want to help.

It's not a carelessness problem. It's closer to a discomfort-with-helplessness problem.

"Someone who just… has it. Who doesn't need to prepare that much. Who can lose their place and recover smoothly."

So the person who belongs is someone for whom it's effortless.

Which means the bar isn't "did you do it well." It's "did it cost you anything to do it well." And if it cost you something, it doesn't count the same way.